Allergies

Apparently, I am not allergic to anything
So says my doctor, “allergic to nothing”,
They ran all the tests from left to right,
From bottom to top, day evening and night,
I disagree; I think I am allergic to lots,
To which I break out in lines and in dots,
I am allergic to people full of themselves,
I get a rash from those that believe in elves,
People driving on the left lane make me nuts,
Asking needless questions makes me plutz,
People selling religion give me hiccups lots,
Politicians cause me to break in yellow spots,
Allergic to nothing, you know nothing at all,
I even sneeze and tear talking to a dry wall,
xox

The Dating Scene

This is the last time I go out on a date,
Not because of my age or that it feels too late,
I wanted this; she wanted that, no communications,
You cannot be so different building relations,
I wanted right she wanted left, I up she down,
I wanted tall she wanted short, I black she brown,
Life cannot go on like this with constant discord,
Daily exchange of harsh words and sharp swords,
I am kind of round a little dark smooth and nice,
I go very well with meat, tomatoes and brown rice,
She is tall, green, best fresh in a salad or uncooked,
An eggplant like me and a bok-choy like her –
Should never be hooked
xox

Good News

I went to the Doctor for my annual check,
She gave me a look that said what a jerk,
She said I got good news and bad news,
I can see that you were into the booze,
Your eyes are crossed and alas the prostate,
Could not be in a much worse of a state,
Your left arm is shorter than your right,
Your reactions show you ain’t too bright,
You show signs of dementia and you sweat,
Please pay your bill in advance lest you forget,
Now for the good news she said with a smile,
I am off to my vacation I’ll be gone for a while,

xox

An Enema to an Aardvark

Giving an enema to an anemic aardvark,
That feasted on all the anthills in the park,
Is not a pleasant chore to say the least,
That Aardvark was a greedy hungry beast,
I rather deal with a gold fish quiet and mute,
That swims and eats and is generally cute,
He sucks in the grains that make its food,
Nothing of substance, fish are really screwed,
Unless you are a shark with long set of teeth,
Many rows above and plenty more are beneath,
Sharks don’t settle for grains it is a dilemma,
I also suggest you avoid giving a shark enema,
xox

Measles

Connect the dots; you will get the picture,
Just like it says in the holy scripture,
One to two, two to three, fifteen to sixteen,
Yellow to blue orange to red then to green,
This brings back memories of childhood,
When things were mostly simple and good,
We used to get chickenpox and measles,
Connected the dots with tips of pencils,
After a week or two we were out playing,
Cured and immunized after a little praying,
Today some refuse to immunize their kids,
On their children’s lives, they make bids.
xox