Proportion Please

It has been said by a lady of knowledge,

Out of a respectable and well known college,

Who said that only women who gave birth,

Without an epidural – (for all its worth),

Who can really appreciate and truly understand,

The immense pain, immeasurable suffering, at hand,

That a man can go through when he has a cold,

A stuffy nose can even be worse threefold,

xxx

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Old World Discovery

They found an old mummy near old Tel-Aviv,

It is thousands of years old, hard to believe,

Trying to see what or whom it may have been,

Archeologists were taking steps never before seen,

I don’t know what the fuss was all about, or why,

After all the mummy was dead long, it said its goodbye,

Then a revelation, an announcement out, all of a sudden,

The mummy is  declared Genesis’s Adam, as it has no belly button,

xxx

Our Well Trained Dog

I trained our dog to open the door,

To poop on the grass and not on the floor,

I taught him to cook his own dinner and lunch,

On the weekends he cooks for us an amazing brunch,

On Chanukah he lights up the menorah as well,

He keeps clean, he washes, and he doesn’t smell,

He listens intently and talks when it’s proper to talk,

But best of all in minus 40 he takes himself out for a walk,

xxx

Chess with God

Last night I played chess again with God,
I know it seems to most of you quite odd,
We do it often over dinner of salad and cod,
Listening to country music and middle-of-the-road,
Discussing politics mostly, but fusion cooking too,
Thing is he wins all the games, how I haven’t a clue,
Then one day I discovered the source of my defeats,
Apparently, God in the game of chess always cheats,
xxx

Leonard Cohen (RIP)

What a great season to die dear Lenny,
Before the frost, and leaves reddish many,
Like old times in that Chelsea hotel with Janis,
Giving you head, she is loaded with cannabis,
You thought you were a gypsy boy with Marianne,
And Suzanne was your dark lady, you her dark man,
You once took Manhattan, were a bird on a wire too,
Then Hallelujah reminded all, you were always a Jew,
No Lenny, you fooled no-one, and now from above,
You shall be watching us all dancing you to the end of love,
xxx

Delaying

I am a complicated man, very complex,
With issues and perplexing set of specs,
A thinking man I am, a philosopher of sorts,
With a brain tied up in asymmetrical knots,
Never sure whether coming, going or staying,
Hence, I philosophize and end up delaying,
xxx