I have a number on my license and health card,
Social insurance and a plate number that I disregard,
I have a house number a phone number and a cell too,
On the scale, my weight shows two hundred thirty two,
Hockey is on twenty-three and news on forty-five,
My heart rate is 56 so now I know that I am alive,
My blood pressure is one twenty over eighty mostly,
The price of gas is one thirty, which is very costly,
Our lives run by the numbers that I cannot remember,
Four is April I think, and if it’s nine it is September,
Today I crossed Sixth Ave hiding from rain and thunder,
And was run over by a car at sixty miles per hour,

Need or Want

There is what we need and what we want,
What we need is basic; the want is the point,
We need food and liquid we need shelter too,
When winter comes, we need a shot for the flu,
We need to be happy, healthy, and content,
If we do not own then we need to pay the rent,
Over the years, we mixed what we need with want,
Now we need a ski trip to the mountains of Vermont,
It seems today we need everything and direly so,
We just must have and really need a Ferrari GTO,
If we do not have this cruise, we will simply die,
Must have Louis Vuitton shoes or we say goodbye,


It is not yet winter, not much of fall either
Spring still far away; summer not much neither,
Colors are plenty, a mix of sky blue, orange sun,
Reds of sunsets, greys of storm clouds undone,
The majestic beauty of our vast land and waters,
Oceans on our east and west make our borders,
Trees stand tall their leaves ever green, untainted,
Others their leaves faded standing bare-naked,
Some hanging on with their stem still attached,
A few more wind blasts and the leaf is detached,
Chipmunks in their last attempt to fill up storage,
By the looks of things they are not into porridge,

Jerry the Humorless Short Guy

Jerry is a very short person, a four footer,
He is a nice guy, charming, sweet as sugar,
He is educated, smart, intelligent, a good talker,
Once a week he meets with friends to play soccer,
He likes to cook, have a drink, works a steady job,
A friendly nice guy, the complete opposite of a snob,
But, when it comes to sense of humor, there is none,
Jerry has no idea what humor is, he misses all the fun,
What is it that has killed his humor, made it all dead?
Is it because he is short that the jokes go over his head?

Answering an Old Question

This evening I was hungry and I ordered in,
Not the usual mashed potatoes and chow-mien,
I was thinking, killing two birds with one stone,
I looked in the yellow pages for the telephone,
And ordered my dinner without delay or a pause,
Because I was very hungry, oh yes so hungry I was,
So, I ordered a nice barbecued chicken well done,
Then I ordered two eggs sunny side up with a bun,
The eggs will come from KFC, chicken from the Keg,
Now I’ll know which comes first the chicken or the egg,

The Ebola Protocols

Lately we have been dealing with Ebola,
It is in Liberia mostly, maybe in Angola,
It moved slowly to Spain and Texas too,
Many talk but I think not one has a clue,
Too many pretend to have simple solutions,
Doctors nurses but most of all politicians,
Much incompetency on all levels all ranks,
Everyone seems to be shooting just blanks,
Between Ebola and the coming seasonal flu,
There is a very strong sense of Déjà Vu,

Environmental Prophecy

I can be quite sure, conclude, and deduce,
Our necks are measured to fit the noose,
The dinosaur’s age is quickly coming back,
The human race is unfortunately out of luck
We are running out of breathable clean air,
Environment and we have an ongoing love affair,
The oceans are oiled, our lands are soiled,
Our brains are radio waved and cellular broiled,
The Sun’s gamma rays and infrared radiation,
With ultraviolet cause massive sterilization,
So smile the human race look up to the sky,
Wave your arms it’s your final good bye,


On Family Guy they were searching every slum,
Where all the dirty jokes have originated from,
Who was sitting and making up the punch lines,
Who were the geniuses and the great minds?
These dirty jokes had to be started somewhere,
Had to have finesse, style, and superb flair,
They were jokes that can only be told in private,
In bars and discrete places that allow excitement,
These jokes are as sharp as a new kitchen knife,
Yet the best jokes are the ones based on real life,

R.I.P Summer

This morning the sun was up relatively early,
The thermometer was toes up and curly,
It showed four degrees Celsius, way too soon,
Only a while back it was still the month of June,
Was it not a week or two ago we froze to the bone,
As all trees came down it looked like a war zone,
The summer came and went in a wink of the eye,
Now it just lies on its side, about to die,