My Doll

As I recently mentioned, not long ago,
My family was so poor; we were eating straw,
My parents got married, just for the thrown rice,
I was so skinny, to see me, you had to look twice,
I had to pass wind to get a s-cent,
To move up in the world, we moved to a tent,
We had no money at all, to buy us kids a toy,
So that my brother and I, could play and enjoy,
One day I found a nice size limestone rock,
It became my little baby doll, I called him Spock,
Spock grew to be a nice doll, a hard kid he was,
Although his weight was static, around 39 Oz,
Spock was also very durable, a tough doll,
He stood a proud constant 10 inches tall,
For my 4th birthday, we all went to the lake,
What happened next, I swear, was by mistake,
My brother and I tried to teach Spock to swim,
Thus, Spock found his end to be very grim,
Apparently, a limestone doll is too heavy to float,
Either you remain on land, or you go on a boat,
Swimming in the deep lake, your chances are slim,
There is no question; it is not sink or swim,
You sink to the bottom, like poor Spock,
Which is now known as the kid from the loch,

Going To The Gym

I love going to the gym,
You can lift, run, jump, treadmill and swim,
I go everyday for at least two hours,
(This does not include an hour in the showers),
I sit in the gym, I watch the weight lifters,
They work around the clock ,on their figures,
Then I spend time with a glass of beer,
Watching the runners and I give them a cheer,
Later I go down to the bar, sit on a stool,
Watching the swimmers doing laps in the pool,
While I am eating a steak in sauce ,done on the grill,
I am keeping an eye on the gymnasts on the treadmill,
After my blood works, and cholesterol count,
My doctor said I had better start working out,
Now my doctor is happy this way,
I told him I go to the gym everyday,

Judge McDoormat

Judge McDoormat was severe,
Sitting in court, he caused many a tear,
He was harsh; he was hard,
You too would lose heart,
When giving judgment in his court,
He took his time, he wasn’t short,
When presenting his ruling in a case,
He took his time, his own pace,
Regardless of remorse or repentance’s,
You were to expect long sentences,


My son has a hi-tech business,
A lot of work, lots of stress,
In order to grow and expand,
An investor is in demand,
Or a government grant,
Or an unknown rich aunt,
He may end up with a bank,
Assuming the bank doesn’t tank,
Our bank, friend or pest?
Hope they don’t lose interest…..


 Timothy is in big trouble,
He won’t talk, his trouble doubled,
He will not confess to his mischievous behavior,
He won’t talk he won’t deliver,
Timothy has really done it this time,
His life is not worth a dime,
He took his father’s super glue,
And drank it all, he had no clue,
He will not tell, nothing be revealed,
His lips are completely sealed,

Major Mac

Major McDonald of the Liverpool brigade,
Survived the Great War as the general’s aide,
He survived two attacks of Mustard gas,
One attack of smoking grass,
Three attacks of Pepper sprays,
A package of barbecued maize,
Four of sugared tomato paste,
One of curry and cumin to taste,
When released with honors, his service done,
He was recognized as a seasoned veteran,