Imperial Shmirperial

There are two systems used by all,
On this planet that looks like a ball,
The Imperial system one is called,
The other the Metric, quite bold,
Inches, Centimeters meter and foot,
You are this or you are going caput,
So now I am suggesting we differ more,
The time keeping I like to also explore,
From now on we have an Imperial clock,
Others will use the Metric time lock,
The Metric will have 100 minutes to click,
The Imperial of course 160 to kick,
As I do when to the UK I go,
Instead of the UK Sterling Pound-
I proudly use my Canadian Kilo.

Free Press

I’ve mistaken my dog for my cat,
I wore my shirt as my hat,
I used my car as my boat,
Tried to wear my shoe as a coat,
I seem to be very mixed up as of late
Or was it something I drank or ate?
I don’t even know if it’s day or night,
Not if it’s black or white,
It must be because of BBC,
They tell me what is best for me,
Or is it CNN or NBC or maybe CBS,
What we call the “Free Press”,
They know the truth all the time,
Between you and me my friend-
They aren’t worth a dime.