Eucalyptus

I must have been a child of three years or four,

Come to think of it, maybe a tad, just a little more,

At my grandparents place, an old and wrinkled home,

Standing all alone, among the eucalyptus trees –

Like a lone gnome,

Sleeping on the balcony, my mid-day habit,

My schlafstunde,

After two hours of sleep, I’m ready for my afternoon

Fiesta,

Wind carrying the scent of fresh eucalyptus oil –

Coming my way,

It’s the smell of heaven, with a glass of lemonade,

What a day,

 xxx

Isolation

We are in self inflicted isolation,

Sucking up air in need of ventilation,

We are frightened and scared out of our wits,

It’s Chinese, European, American, it’s the pits,

Locked up and told to wear gloves and a mask,

Staying home and alive is our only task,

So home we stay eating drinking and sleeping,

A couple more weeks and we’ll start screaming

xxx

Decameron

I remember in my youth reading Decameron,

The Boccaccio masterpiece of time long gone,

Nowadays, it seems we have a repeat, (dare I say),

Exposed to the plague without a good word or pray,

All I need to do now is find nine more story tellers,

Neighbours, residents or friends, same city dwellers,

Together we’ll spend the next few years telling a tale,

Sitting indoors, in our apartments, self imposed jail,

Maybe in seven hundred years our tale be told,

How in 2020 we almost came to the end of the world

xxx

Elaborated tastes

Things came unglued,
Not a scene from Hollywood,
Corona Virus, sitting tight,
Nights of anxiety and fright,
Since taste buds work no more,
As chemotherapy is stronger than before,
A bright idea comes to mind,
Idea that in mind has come refined,
Why not chemo be flavored? Perhaps Pepperoni?
Maybe mushrooms, black olives, even baloney?
Thus we bypass unpleasant metallic oral taste,
Maybe add a notch around my waist?
xxx

 

Hide and Seek

I played hide and seek a while back,

I was looking for a hole, a dent, a crack,

It has been a while, weeks, months, maybe years,

I have no idea, no clue, I am gone it appears,

I looked in the mirror but I have no reflection,

A vampire ? me? No way! Natural selection?

Away I am, seen by no-one, a ghost, a specter,

Can I be seen by the tax collector?

xxx

Cold Global Warming

A new winter is here, fresh and cold,

The globe is warming, so we have been told,

Does not feel that way, I must say,

When the thermometer shows minus 7 today,

Soon we’ll all be standing in water, to our knees,

Why does it have to be, that I need anti-freeze?

Can’t we at least wade in lukewarm water?

If we’re going to drown, make it in something hotter

xxx

Still Here

This week I celebrate my sixty sixth birthday,

My beard is all white, not a sign of blond or grey,

A while ago it was in doubt I’ll make it thus far,

But here I am still, with a new impressive long scar,

Life is good; I have a new grandchild as well, six in all,

I guess I’m lucky, because I never followed protocol,

I look forward to being around a while longer at least try,

No sir I’m not ready to say my good-bye,

xxx

Democracy

Long live democracy – best of all alternatives,

Regardless if NDP, Liberals or conservatives,

Out with the old, in with the new (or slightly used),

You are not completely sure, (Canadians are confused),

Yet I am in doubt the choices we have are cream of the crop,

We already know the Liberal choice was a total flop,

Well, come what may, in a month time we cast our votes,

Please use your head this time, enough a herd of goats,

xxx

Officially Off Chemo

That’s it; I am officially off chemo,
It was a daring bet, just like a casino,
Fortunately this bet worked against the odds,
Could it be intervention of the almighty gods?
So for the time being I shall stick around,
Although I am lighter by about forty pounds,
And if all works well, here I shall be for a while,
Time to put on a big and wide smile,

xxx

I miss reading

The biggest problem in growing old,

Is when your bad eyesight starts unfold,

I used to read a lot, was my favourite hobby,

Better than games and sports (even hockey),

I read a book a day for most of my life (so far),

In two languages (read and write) as most are,

Too bad when reading can be most beneficial,

We settle for radio and TV (very superficial),

xxx

Self-Inflicted

Saturday it’s mass shooting at a “Wal-Mart”,

On Wednesday it’s at a mall where lives will depart,

On Sunday “Target” a good place to start shooting,

Monday at a Marines center of recruiting,

It is called the Second Amendment of the constitution,

It’s the amendment that makes it OK for mass execution,

I think it is clear the USA is long gone, it has died,

Official statement is: death was self-inflicted suicide,

 

xxx

Oh President

Oh president, the president of the USA,

Changes his opinion never knows what to say,

He attacks then he doesn’t then he does, then…

He shall sign papers and wave with his fancy pen,

At the end of the day what we see is a balloon,

With a red behind, basically a silly baboon,

Oh president, oh president of the USA,

Please make up your mind and be gone, away,

xxx

Addicted to Chemo

I’m addicted to chemo; I need my daily fix,

Without it I feel like another hanging crucifix,

I need my IV and these four pills twice a day,

Followed by gallons of water and a pound of hay,

Then I hang on to sanity by sleeping away half a day,

Considering the alternative, chemo is child’s play,

So on I go now for 2 more cycles, to make half a year,

Can’t wait to sit on the balcony with a cigar and a beer,

xxx

Morbidity

I had grapefruit for breakfast and orange for lunch,

Accompanied by almonds, pistachios and walnuts to crunch,

A bit of triple cream brie and Stilton on an English muffin,

It was all that one needs, to be put in a fancy coffin,

A tall glass of pink champagne, followed by Espresso,

Two homemade biscotti made with that special dough,

What else does a man need when spring has sprang?

When the world around goes up in smoke and a big bang,

Wake me up when it’s all over the fake news and stupidity,

This world is obsessed with religious related morbidity,

xxx

 

Cheesecake

Only of himself did he have good words,
None for others, (all considered nerds),
His battles were won or lost only by him,
Bottom line, life looked very dim and grim,
Yet he did not mind, as he was on Facebook,
Instagram and LinkedIn too, a regular schnook,
As everyone knows, if online you have a profile,
You can be a philosopher, a CEO or a pedophile,
No one knows the truth everything is fake,
Even a cheesecake can made to look like a steak,
xxx

No Cheeks

On December 14 2018, I had the Whipple Procedure,
It means from the small intestine gone are a couple of meters,
Out went my gallbladder and 10% of my stomach too,
A third of my pancreas – and what was left –
Was put together and reconnected with stitches and glue,
Ampulla of Vater carcinoma was the ruling,
Aha, said I, I sure know how to pick them, no fooling,
So now, with a long scary scar I relearn to live again,
I asked my surgeon. – “can I buy green bananas?
start reading a long novel? Maybe a Mark Twain?”
I can start writing a book: “Losing 30 pounds in 3 weeks”,
Bottom line my bottom has no cheeks.
xxx

Pity

It seems in Canada if you are a kidnapper,

A rapist, a murderer, (all before supper),

You do not pay the price for your crime,

Let’s face it, society is lucky if they do any time,

Our crime rate has gone up; the city is the shit,

No accountability, our politicians will never admit,

Time for some serious change, we need a cleanup job,

Pity, I still remember when Toronto was top,

xxx

Developed Senses

She says she is happy she has it all,

Life is great and she is having a ball,

She eats and she drinks all is working well,

She can taste, and see, and hear even smell,

That unfortunately is not always good news,

Especially when her boyfriend takes off his shoes,

He although a nice man life with him is a breeze,

Certain parts of him smell like Limburger Cheese,

xxx

Pablo Casals

When Pablo Casals was only ninety-three,

Still the world best cello player, always on key.

He was asked, why at 93 he still practices every day,

At least for three hours he will sit train and play,

Well, said Casals, with his usual humble disposition,

I must confess, I am guilty by my own admission,

Playing the Elgar cello concerto, on the first movement,

I have noticed, that I did show a slight improvement,

xxx

 

Trump is afraid of nothing

I shall fight North Korea, humiliate Iran,

Will strangle Moscow, and dwarf Japan,

Bring Canada to its knees and Cuba to shame,

Make the democrats take the full blame,

I am the president and I can do what I want,

I don’t give a hoot about “Perestroika” and “Détente”,

When I go to France to celebrate 100 to the war’s end,

It was raining so I stayed indoors instead,

xxx

Let us move the Calendar

 Tonight we are changing the clock,
For the next week I will feel like a schmuck,
Was I? Or am I still to be, I’m so woozy,
Not as if I have a say, can’t be choosy,
Must change clock on oven, alarms, microwave,
Watches, coffee machine, blender, an early grave,
Time to stop the changes, enough I say,
I think I’ll change November, make it May,
xxx

 

A Good Deed Indeed

When you do a good deed indeed,

It is like planting a good will seed,

That will spread, grow, and multiply,

As good as mother’s good old apple pie,

It will ripple, bubble, trickle, and fly,

Up and away into the never ending sky,

Where all good deeds await their turn,

Something we all desperately need to learn,

xxx

Telescope

I like to look through the telescope lens,

From the other side, (I know it makes no sense),

This way I take a huge issue, and with a twist,

I render it small – in a word, I have it dismissed,

So follow my way, do as I do, take my word,

Turning a big issue to small, has its reward,

Always be carrying a telescope in your pocket,

Or keep it permanently glued to your eye socket,

xxx

A Winter’s Tale

A parable befitting the end of summer,

The raindrops, clouds, sound of thunder,

Short, concise, just arrived, already gone,

As at end of night, comes a brief dawn,

Now comes old biting winter, cold awaits,

Replacing the bathing suit with skates,

Gone is summer too short a yarn too frail,

The beginning of a Winter’s Tale,

xxx

Who is to blame?

There is a lot going on with abuse and mistreat,

In Hollywood, in church, the Olympics or the street,

He blames her; she blames him, who is at fault?

Was it truly consensual or a brutal sexual assault?

My advice to you, for future reference,

Based on the past, it shall make a difference,

If you are going to claim, you were a victim of rape,

Make sure you get it all on high quality tape,

xxx

Operatic soup

Listening to music on “You Tube”,
It’s cold I am having chicken soup,
I never knew chickens were operatic,
Opera with chicken soup is traumatic,
Turandot was all choked up, poor soul,
Obvious bad reaction to the matzo ball,
Have to adjust the food to the music I hear,
Or, risk that operatic music will disappear,
xxx

Survival

Tonight I went out on the balcony,

It was freezing, complete agony,

My feet got cold, my hands, my head,

I was sure I would end up very dead,

Did not know what to do to stay alive,

How does one manage to survive?

How one avoids such pain and torment?

So, I turned around and inside I went,

xxx

 

Turning 65

Today I turned sixty-five,

Last I checked, I’m still alive,

From now on, it is a bonus, a freebie,

que sera sera, what will be will be,

I am beating the odds, historically speaking,

Although listening hard, you can hear the squeaking,

Who am I to complain? I should not be bitching,

Please disregard the spasms and twitching,

I shall take my pills, inject my shots,

And continue connecting the dots.

xxx

Religiously Infected

Are you too religiously infected and pious?

Deeply devoted and most sanctimonious,

Performing acts of worship and ritual,

After all, you are so deeply spiritual,

As I observe and see you, ‘O ye people of faith,

I have an immediate urge, to scrub and bathe,

If you end up going to heaven when end comes,

I rather go to hell and be with the secular ones

xxx

Is Google a Tiger?

Enough of your wheeling and dealings,

Your smiles and second hand feelings,

This week was extraordinarily bitter,

Twenty percent lose Google and Twitter,

With all of Trump’s tweets and words,

And his still wide eyed following herds,

Twitter has less users and so does Google,

Could it be the tiger is really a poodle?

xxx

Marc Antony

When Marc Antony spoke over Caesar’s cadaver,
After the Roman Senate’s extreme misbehavior,
He started by saying to his fellow Romans – please hear,
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear”,
Then he went on to explain to the gathering mob,
That stabbing Caesar was part of the Senate’s job,
What baffles me about the Shakespearean scenario,
Did Marc Antony return the ear that he asked to borrow,
xxx

My grass is Greener

I saw the neighbor’s yard, outer and inner,
Indeed the grass there was noticeably greener,
The pool water too, was bluer as blue as the sea,
So, I sent our dogs to their pool to swim and to pee,
Now their grass is still green, but smells a bit funny,
Their pool looks like lemonade and makes your nose runny,
Let there be a lesson to each neighbor and nearby dweller,
My pool is always bluer and my grass forever greener,
xxx

Otzi the Iceman

Otzi the iceman, the Alps Mountains found mummy,

For years, researchers were checking his tummy,

They discovered just now, he was eating lamb and deer,

Followed quickly by a liter or two, of Canadian beer,

They also found seeds of different kind and type of plums,

Something that looked like burger cheese in sesame buns,

He also ate steak and bacon, and chicken, and types of cheese,

Hotdogs and marshmallows, his stomach hung down to his knees,

It was very clear to the research team right from the start,

That if not for the arrow, he would die of a blocked heart,

xxx

Parenthood

Adam and Eve, we are led to believe,

Were the first-born, without being conceived,

Adam was born from mud, muck, and clay,

Eve from his rib was born, almost without delay,

Both were running around naked, (no diapers),

Among the lions, hyenas, zebras and tigers,

Then they ate an apple, and behold they got smart,

Forced from the Garden of Eden to depart,

Dressed in the leaf of a fig to be covered,

Is it wonder their parents were never discovered?

xxx

Helsinki Meeting

July 16th – two thousand eighteen, today,
One day after the world cup final play,
In Helsinki, Finland, two are holding hands,
Putin of Russia and Trump of the United States,
At last, the two will look into each other’s eyes,
A hard look, checking each other for size,
Both want to show the world, his is bigger,
Both can most definitely qualify as a chigger,
I wonder if by the end of the day Trump will Tweet,
It was a great date, and Vladimir Putin is sweet,
xxx

Eat your cake

It is said you can’t have your cake and eat it too,

I look around and all I see is people that non-stop chew,

Someone got it all wrong, right from the start,

People eat cakes, pies, puff pastry and tart,

All is collecting around huge tummies and butts,

Accumulating pounds and calories into their guts

When next time you hear you can’t keep and eat your cake,

Laugh it off and help yourself to another flake,

xxx

Law or Theory

Why is gravity a law and evolution a theory?
Relativity and quantum are theories very clearly,
Why the difference why the distinction,
Anything to do with tradition or maybe religion?
How is it decided what is a law and what is theory?
Is it the name, Einstein or Darwin or Curie?
I really do not care if it is the Sorbonne or Yale,
But if I break a scientific law I am not going to jail,
xxx

Construction

Is it only me that pays attention,

But, whenever there is a new construction location,

Certain rules apply, in very specific order,

First, they put a fence to mark the border,

Then, signage is put up on the fence, a warning,

To watch out for things that may be falling,

And then without further ado and beforehand

They install the necessary mobile toilet stand

xxx

Moving backward real fast

Our values are changing, it is very clear,

What for centuries was loved and held dear,

Today takes backseat to vulgar, foolish and crude,

Now people value things that are foul, trite and rude,

Once we valued spiritual, witty, aesthetic, creative, artistic,

Today, mediocre, hate, bad taste and opportunistic,

Once:

A writer, a poet, composer, philosopher,

Were admired,

Today:

Coarse, unrefined, banal, trashy, and boorish,

Are required,

xxx

A car every seven minutes

I read in the daily paper, an interesting story,
Statistics I was not aware of, in the car category,
It seems every seven minutes a man buys a car,
A Honda, Toyota, Chrysler, a GM, ford or a Jaguar,
However, one thing baffles me so, and I wonder,
(And the suspense is driving me under),
With all this car buying, purchasing and acquiring,
Where in God’s name – does he find parking?

xxx

To B flat or not to B flat

So then, I said to Mozart – “Don’t B Flat”,

I know you can do it at the drop of a hat,

Have you considered a C Major for a change?

After all your orchestra does have the range,

Good idea said he, let me think about it a bit,

Without thinking, I admit I hate to commit,

Then he returned and said –“consider it done”,

I shall immediately write symphony # forty-one,

xxx

My Cheese

There is an amazing aroma today in the kitchen,
That keeps everyone in the house a’ bitchin,
My homemade cheese factory has struck oil,
I managed to make artisan cheese nothing was spoiled,
If you thought Brie, Munster or Roquefort smell,
My cheese makes you run like a bat out of hell,
Limburger is like perfume compared to my treat,
It reminds everyone the tangy smell of athlete’s feet,
xxx

Only one

I feel so ashamed, so out of place,

So much so, I cannot show my face,

I am the only one in town I confess,

Oh, what pressure, oh, what stress,

I look around and see I am the only one,

No one else like me under the sun,

Why only me, I have no real clue,

Why am I the only one without a tattoo?

Xxx

He gets no satisfaction

When Mick Jagger dances and sings,

Rock and roll and other music things,

When he jumps up and down and screams,

In his old dirty T-shirt and tight jeans,

As he says, he can get no satisfaction,

(A song that used to cause a chain reaction),

I ask could it possibly be his advanced age,

That put the man in such troubled rage,

Is it possible Mick gets no satisfaction?

Because he suffers from erectile dysfunction,

xxx

Myths

We have many ideas and myths we believe,

From Timbuktu city to good old Tel Aviv,

We follow them come fire or water, over years,

They are stuck in our heads, help overcome fears,

For example, Friday the 13th is thought very bad luck,

So is walking under a ladder, or getting hit by a puck,

But one should always consider both sides of the story,

Chicken soup is good for you, in the health category,

Really? Check with the chicken-

for her it was dreadful and bloody gory,

xxx

An end to another beginning

What can one say, another book done,

And I must admit, it was lots of fun,

Doodling and writing is a good combination,

Putting rhyme with the odd illustration,

Ideas flow, lines of words or ink or pencil,

No need for any other tool or utensil,

Page after page connected and joined,

Trying to make sense and offer a point,

xxx

Zombies

I have been doing some research on things,

About reasons and ideas, queens and kings,

Why does a cow’s udder have only four teats?

Why the lion devour meat and the zebra grass eats,

Sometimes I come with answers to such questions,

Sometimes I ponder and look for suggestions,

I look for the logical the coherent and rational,

Although I do try to avoid making it personal,

For example, I have an explanation to the Zombie situation,

(Better known nowadays as the Z nation),

It seems to me as clear as cream cheese ,bagel and lox,

Zombies walk around and exist –

Because they are required to think outside the box

xxx

Important issues

Many years ago, I have learned my lesson,
You will be smart, to hear me out and listen,
Everyone wants to save the world, overpopulation,
Stop climate change, genetic modification,
Cease earth warming, deforestation, pollution,
Ozone layer depletion, teenager prostitution,
Important issues, the future of our universe,
We write about it, we talk, in prose and verse,
These are our wants and our important wishes,
However, no one ever helps mother with the dishes,
xxx

Then and Now

Do you remember when we had the two dollars bills?

When the north of Toronto, ended with Steeles,

When Yonge Street was referred to as highway eleven,

And past the end of the world, we had highway seven,

When you drove on 400, you actually were moving,

Radio was 1050 CHUM, and on the AM dial we were grooving,

Pearson was the PM, not the International Airport,

Nobody knew liter and KM, all we had were mile and quart,

A gallon of gas was thirty cents at the pump,

Best of all down south we had a Kennedy not a Trump,

xxx

The state of my prostate

I have been wondering about the state of the prostate,

Since nowadays, one needs to wait if one wants to liquidate,

It gives you time to wonder and ponder and think,

How it used to be when you were peeing in a blink,

It is not as if everything else works like well-oiled machine,

What is now, is nothing like it has been,

Now one has to think and make up an excuse,

How and why one stained up his shoes,

xxx