Thirty Celsius

It is hot, thirty Celsius in the shade,

You want to jump in the ocean and bathe,

The sun just sits there frying you brains,

At least what little of it that remains,

Everywhere I look seems to be vaporizing,

With thirty Celsius, it is not surprising,

For breakfast I fried the eggs in the sun,

Made a couple of sausages and toasted a bun,

Then boiled the water for my cup of tea,

Sipping it slowly sitting under the tree,

It is so hot today I saw a desperate crazed fly,

Jumping off the balcony, he wanted to die,

xox

True Mentor

A true mentor will point you where to look,

Yet will not tell you what you seek to hook,

He will leave you to discover fresh and anew,

Let you be the pioneer the finder of the clue,

Discoveries are not made by copy and imitation,

But by daring and boldness venture and initiation,

Breaking new grounds needs guts and nerve,

They are the ones that will truly deserve,

In history will make their mark as vanguards,

Remembered for eternity as brave hearts,

xox

Forgetful

I am at the stage that I forget,

I find myself panicky and in cold sweat,

What was it I was supposed to do just now?

Cut the holy tree or milk the sacred cow,

I find that I remember that I forgot something,

Therefore, I started to make notes writing and taping,

Then alas – I forgot to look up my notes – again,

It feels funny and worrying am I losing my brain.

My short-term memory is all gone – indeed,

My long-term memory like new up to speed,

I can remember things in detail fifty years old,

But forgetful of words just now been told,

Thus, every morning I wake up fresh as new,

When I brush my teeth, it feels like déjà vu,

xox

Stats

We are now into the start of a revolution,

We can use it to find for everything a solution,

It is called; the “Big Data” and it really works,

All you need is a computer instead of a million clerks,

Google used it to find out the development of the flu,

But we can use it to find out why where when and who,

We can find out almost anything in real-time,

Even the distribution of change from quarter to dime,

So now I will be checking out what is being served,

In the local restaurants desserts shall be observed,

I shall use the new technology to figure out as well

How many burgers per day McDonald’s can sell

xox

Are You Being Served?

Once I visited the land of the shrimps,

They have many legs, still I saw one that limps,

I saw a few oysters that were visiting,

A couple of squids that in the sun were tanning,

A herd of sea horses were dashing across,

One was trotting ahead obviously the boss,

A starfish was taking a walk in midday,

He was surefooted he surely knew his way,

The transparent jellyfish looked anything but gel,

Moving slower than the busy looking snail,

The scallops seemed they had an attitude issue,

With the eels that were lacking in virtue,

Only the lobster sitting next to the octopus,

Knew not he was going to be served with the humus,

xox

Self Destruct

Aesop wrote many years ago,

Stories I remember and know,

One that I like today too,

About frog, scorpion with a moral so true,

Scorpion asked frog to take him across,

To which frog replied – scorpion up your nose,

If I take you across the river, you will sting me for sure,

To a scorpion’s sting, I will have no cure,

If I kill you my dear frog I shall drown with you,

It makes no sense to say to my life adieu,

So the frog took the scorpion across the river,

In midstream the scorpion stung the frog in the liver,

As he was dying the frog asked why you will die too,

Are you crazy have you no sense and no clue,

I cannot help it said the scorpion to the frog,

It is in my nature like a mad dog,

So do people will destroy and self destruct,

If not for me no one will have, they deduct,

xox

Sleepy

I saw somewhere – someone wrote this:

In bed, you close your eyes for 5 minutes at the AM 06:00,

You wake up two hours later – to work you are late,

At work it’s 1:00 PM you close your eyes for 5 my friend,

You wake up it is 1:01 the clock seems stuck,

And you my dear friend are just out of luck,

So I thought to myself – out of luck indeed,

Have you ever been in the car and sleep you need?

So you close your eyes for just a tiny wink

Only to wake up 4 years later- from an IV you drink,

xox

My Pet

I have a small dog in the house for a few days,

Dog-sitting is the title – when his owners is a ways,

He is taken on his walks seven times daily or nightly,

Driving his human servants crazy systematically,

It is obvious the little dog has Nazi blood,

All he does is with intent to drive me mad,

He just sits there keeping one eye on me,

Not a sound from him, silent as a mute flea,

But the minute the telephone rings with business,

His barking nonstop is heard – a mile away no less,

Obviously, he is doing it to spite me the little monster,

I bet you he is taking notes – I could swear,

I think next week just to get even with the little sore,

I am going to get my own pet an American Alligator,

Then I like to see the face of the little mutt,

When he sees the sharp teeth on my smiling pet,

xox

Beans

Joey loves beans of all type, striped beans,

And Lima beans, Fava beans, and lentils,

Red kidney beans, black beans – chickpeas too,

You cannot just stop eating after one or two,

He likes the beans cooked or baked with honey,

Joey will not give up beans even if offered money,

He likes it with macaroni or Italian sausages,

Mashed like potatoes or fried with ham and eggs,

Joey eats beans seven days a week he loves it,

Although it is not easy to digest one has to admit,

So Joey calculates distance times height times mass,

Then he takes a walk until he runs out of gas,

xox

Breakfast

Every morning I start my day,

Mind you, it is always the same way,

First, I eat one Brazil nut raw and unroasted,

Then in a cup, I put flax seeds fresh and untoasted,

I add three tablespoons of probiotic yogurt,

On top of that, I throw one dried prune it’s cute,

All that is followed by a handful of tasty almonds,

They seem to be like brownish elongated diamonds,

Then on top, I break gently four perfect halves,

Of brain like looking unsalted unroasted walnuts,

As the final touch of my breakfast is here,

One full tablespoon with peanut butter I clear,

To be chased down by espresso carefully sipped,

Breakfast is so good it never is skipped,

xox

Tea for One

A cup of tea with lemon and mint,

A few thin slices of ginger just a hint,

A half tablespoon of wild citrus flowers honey,

A touch of cinnamon that smells a little funny,

This makes an after dinner drink with dessert,

Drinking a whole pot guaranteed not to hurt,

It will calm your stomach help your digestion,

To be followed by a cognac (only a suggestion),

Put your legs up recline in the comfortable chair,

Light your cigar, relax, life is good, take care,

xox

Mother’s Day

I talked to a mother – a very good friend,

That was excited because around the bend,

Was coming mother’s day like every year,

It is a yearly event; I hope that this was clear,

I asked my friend why is she so very happy,

So cheerfully glad – not to mention sappy,

She answered in a very teary little voice,

You do not understand I do not have a choice,

But every year my kids and my loving spouse,

Insist on spoiling me and clean up the house,

Then together they bring me breakfast to bed,

Juice, eggs, cheese, herring, butter and rye bread,

So why are you so upset I asked her wondering?

Are you not happy you want additional dumpling?

Are you not happy getting your breakfast in bed?

Do you prefer it be lunch or dinner instead?

No said my friend, after all that food and good eats,

After mother’s day every year –

I need to buy a new mattress and sheets,

xox

Cleveland Ohio

They found three kidnapped girls in Cleveland Ohio,

Taken by force by a maniac over ten years ago,

Neighbours never noticed anything – all blind,

No one sees anything – you know – peace of mind,

Maybe we just miss the good old days back then,

When the world had one ruler and he was a man,

He lived in a cave he had a huge stick or a bat,

That he used to hit people with under their hat,

Occasionally he would see a woman he liked to own,

He beat her, raped her, to the back cave got thrown,

Cook, child bearing, clean – that was her job – no fee,

Beat her up rape her, it was called starting a family,

This is all he wanted that poor guy in Ohio the fair,

He just wanted some women to love and children to care,

xox

New Princess

It was the eighth of May high noon,

Just after April and a bit before June,

A young lady was born that day on the 7th floor,

If you turn right, it was the third right door,

She was small yet had a very strong aura,

Within a few minutes the all clan was dancing hora,

She is the newest addition to the Artman clan,

She made me her grandfather a very happy old man,

It is not every day we get such an addition to the line,

By the looks of things this one will do just fine,

I checked and made sure she has a mouth and a nose,

Two eyes two ears and yes!!, she also has ten toes,

In case you are wondering, her name is Noa Rose,

xox

Movies

All the new movies coming out nowadays,

Every new movie is violence, horror, and vampires,

Whatever happened to comedy and a good drama?

I do not dare to mention a musical like Oklahoma,

All must be beautiful and young few with talent,

What happened to character actors like Eugene Palette?

Nothing memorable left with you after the movie show,

Not a word or a statement that history will know,

Not “play it Sam” or “We will always have Paris”, true?

I miss you Cagney, Burton, Peck, Cooper and Matthau,

xox

Vincent

Vincent Van Gogh had an ear infection,

It happened a week after the dissection,

When Vincent tried to balance his sunglasses,

Ended up cutting it off after trials and misses,

He surely could have saved this trouble and all,

Had he decided to use a one-eye monocle,

But being an artist and stubborn he chose,

To cut one ear off – since he had two I suppose,

As far as we know, he may have cut off other parts,

May we assume even a pair of  sagging nuts,

xox

In the Park

I went for a walk on a beautiful clear day,

A day you can see clear to Georgian Bay,

My feet led me thru high and low and high again,

Not a cloud in the sky not a sign of coming rain,

Behold – I walked into a garden a beautiful park,

With a red robin, a pintail, a blue jay and a lark,

Then I saw them standing there in a sad group,

With their heads bowing low their body droop,

There they were the sad weeping willow trees,

Standing there swaying in the light breeze,

I did not want to embarrass them make an issue

So, I left with them a box of Kleenex tissue,

xox

Mother’s Tongue

I see many a nanny take babies for a walk,

I do not want to appear and seem like a schmuck,

BUT- When I was a child,

It was the mother – the child bearer that did that,

From the day you were born until ready for combat,

This is why we use such terms as “mother’s tongue”

The impressionable years when you are still young,

I wonder what language will be spoken by your clan,

In my estimate: most will speak fluent Szechuan,

xox

Lemonade

I read somewhere that sometimes just like that,

Life will offer you lemons at the drop of a hat,

Some would say take these lemons clean and wash,

Make yourself lemonade or a smoothie or slush,

Whatever you make from the lemons in the end,

Remember to be kind and share it with a friend,

The important thing for you to understand and see,

Is that you got these lemons and they were free,

xox

Watching Your Weight

I was watching TV last night just relaxing,

The commercials and ads were really taxing,

Mostly repetitive, endlessly, again and again,

Drilling away trying to make a dent in my brain,

There was the one about Jenny Craig the diet,

Another on Weight Watchers it was a riot,

There was this lady that was as big as a house,

Claiming she lost at least ninety five pounds,

How big was she before? Go figure good luck,

She probably was as big as an army truck,

If you want to lose weight- to be thin and such,

For god’s sake, just stop eating so much,

xox

Gay Athletes

Jason Rollins came out confessed to being gay,

Seems like the biggest news of the day,

People do not seem to understand at all,

That making such a fuss is their short fall,

This is the twenty first century friends,

No one really cares it makes no sense,

Even the president made a point to comment,

This makes it even sadder in the end,

We have athletes that murder, rape, simple thieves,

Sadistic animal killers, drug addicts and cheats,

Now we have an athlete who is gay, what are the odds?

I wonder, do gay athletes also use steroids?

xox