Biting away

I was thinking to myself the other day,

When you get older, and they put you away,

In retirement home, (assisted living community),

Or a similar name meaning, “Slow disposal facility”,

When you brush your teeth at night, before bed,

How do you know they are yours (not someone else’s instead?)

xxx

 

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George losing weight

George has been on a diet for two years,

He swore to give up on pizza and beers,

Indeed, he has made tremendous progress,

He lost lots of weight (he can only guess),

This of course causes much painful stress,

Yet he feels good with his way, God Bless,

How much did he lose he cannot really tell,

His tummy still hides the numbers on the scale,

xxx

Spectator Sport

In the restaurant, I just ordered a soup,

I always order pea soup, that I love to scoop,

It is rich and creamy, comes with crackers too,

So hot, that I must cool it with a double “foo-foo”,

Only this time between the peas in the soup and the green,

Couple of flies were doing a synchronized swimming routine,

I do not mind sport and I am wholeheartedly for it indeed,

(Although I myself have not developed the desire or need)

What did bother me, with this outstanding sporting event,

Was the spectators, a cockroach, two spiders, and an ant,

xxx

World Cup

It is the world cup, I am watching intently,

It is a football competition (soccer incidentally),

Twenty-two players chasing a single round ball,

With every opportunity, they pretend to fall,

It must be that their training includes acting too,

How to fall, turn red, cry and sob, then turn blue,

Problem is (this may come as a shocker),

They are much better at acting than playing soccer,

xxx

The old lady who swallowed a fly

Remember the old lady who swallowed a fly?

Everyone was worried perhaps she will die,

Well I got an exclusive update re the old lady,

Let us face it a lady swallowing a fly is a bit shady,

Up until today, we had no details, who or what she was,

Was it hereditary behavior, or was it menopause,

Information we have, and as far as the story goes,

To Florida she moved, because in Toronto she froze,

She married Mr. Katz her next-door neighbor,

But unfortunately in 2016 was swallowed by an alligator

xxx

Same but not

Despite the sound and clear similarity,

During the British Kingdom prosperity,

A farthing was a quarter of a penny,

And is not at all loud and smelly,

You see English is American not,

What you say here, there you cannot,

A queen in America is not Elizabeth 2,

A bitter there, is here a beer you brew,

And when here you order a sausage with fries,

There you will get a banger with chips, surprise,

xxx

Origami

I went to Japan to learn Origami,

In my profession, Origami is the key,

You fold the left and then the right,

You may do it by day or do it by night,

Must be precise, must be meticulous,

Or the outcome will look ridiculous,

My clients will think of me fondly,

In my business of dry cleaning laundry

xxx