Tagline

Being a marketer for many a year I always knew,

To come with the best tagline to make your point on cue,

When the new burial service provider came to me for advice,

I knew right away what they need, I was clear and very precise,

What you put as your tagline to grow up your business real fast,

To be the first and best known, and not as you are now, dead last

You will now be saying – (and this tagline is indeed a keeper)

“We bury you deeper – For Cheaper”

xxx

 

Toronto’s Mayor New Toll

We have a busy mayor in Toronto the great,

Every time he opens his mouth I just cannot wait,

It seems all problems can be solved by taxing us more,

Torontonians apparently can be milked like never before,

The pot holes in the roads are as big as the lunar crates,

Between him and Ontario premier you can’t Wynne, mates,

Now he wants us to pay for driving the roads, a little toll,

To cover the incompetency and waste at Toronto city-hall,

Next he’ll be looking at the homeless who don’t have a cent,

Still our mayor will be looking to collect from them rent,

xxx

Proportion Please

It has been said by a lady of knowledge,

Out of a respectable and well known college,

Who said that only women who gave birth,

Without an epidural – (for all its worth),

Who can really appreciate and truly understand,

The immense pain, immeasurable suffering, at hand,

That a man can go through when he has a cold,

A stuffy nose can even be worse threefold,

xxx

Old World Discovery

They found an old mummy near old Tel-Aviv,

It is thousands of years old, hard to believe,

Trying to see what or whom it may have been,

Archeologists were taking steps never before seen,

I don’t know what the fuss was all about, or why,

After all the mummy was dead long, it said its goodbye,

Then a revelation, an announcement out, all of a sudden,

The mummy is  declared Genesis’s Adam, as it has no belly button,

xxx

Our Well Trained Dog

I trained our dog to open the door,

To poop on the grass and not on the floor,

I taught him to cook his own dinner and lunch,

On the weekends he cooks for us an amazing brunch,

On Chanukah he lights up the menorah as well,

He keeps clean, he washes, and he doesn’t smell,

He listens intently and talks when it’s proper to talk,

But best of all in minus 40 he takes himself out for a walk,

xxx

Chess with God

Last night I played chess again with God,
I know it seems to most of you quite odd,
We do it often over dinner of salad and cod,
Listening to country music and middle-of-the-road,
Discussing politics mostly, but fusion cooking too,
Thing is he wins all the games, how I haven’t a clue,
Then one day I discovered the source of my defeats,
Apparently, God in the game of chess always cheats,
xxx

Leonard Cohen (RIP)

What a great season to die dear Lenny,
Before the frost, and leaves reddish many,
Like old times in that Chelsea hotel with Janis,
Giving you head, she is loaded with cannabis,
You thought you were a gypsy boy with Marianne,
And Suzanne was your dark lady, you her dark man,
You once took Manhattan, were a bird on a wire too,
Then Hallelujah reminded all, you were always a Jew,
No Lenny, you fooled no-one, and now from above,
You shall be watching us all dancing you to the end of love,
xxx